Even Ben Affleck Has More Confidence Than You Right Now
I didn’t intend on this article starting with a Ben Affleck reference. In fact I hate to let everyone down, but I don’t have any issues with Ben Affleck. To further disappoint, I don’t think he’s a douchebag. Now, I don’t personally know Mr. Affleck, maybe he IS an asshole, douchebag, sorry excuse for a human being. But I would only probably decipher that if I met him and actually conversed with him and found out he liked to kick kittens, was a litterbug or had a passion for berating people in the service industry. Until then all I can gather is, he’s gotten a bad rap. Most likely because at some point Ben Affleck was the shit, and all the ladies let all the gentleman know it, and if that wasn’t enough to take the douche cake in the minds and hearts of so many guys- then he dated JLo.
Why come to Ben’s defense during this Batman battle when the obvious social media trend would be to join the ‘Ben’ wagon and piss on him? Well I’ll get to that. It ties into something some guy at a bar last night said to me; ‘Women in LA have zero personality and are as fake as the boobs they bought.’ Wonderfully eloquent indeed. As a lady who is an angeleno transplant of 13 years, has a little bit of personality left, and hasn’t yet bought fake boobs, I could only gather that although completely wrong, he was insinuating my inclusion in his generalization. To which I quickly responded: ‘That sounds like something a guy would say who never gets laid.’
There it was, and it hung in the air like cigar smoke. The truth.
I decided to elaborate, because although I didn’t feel that I was part of his generalization, nor did I feel the need to stand up for all of womenkind in Los Angeles, the poor guy was exactly the demographic of my assumption. I took the opportunity to give him some information that only a chick would give, and it went a little something like this;
'Why the fuck WOULD a woman want to hang out with you, let alone, FUCK you when you have nothing to offer.' Audible gasp. I was about to become the poster child of bitchy, entitled, shallow 'Hollywood' women.
I wasn’t done. I actually wasn’t trying to be a bitch. In fact, I didn’t hate this guy. After all, he was just replaying familiar things I’d heard my girlfriend-less, date-less, fuck-less guy friends say about a million times every Friday and Saturday night. All of these men seemed to unknowingly agree that there were certain truths about women (especially in LA) and they were as follows:
-They only want money
-They only want fame
-They only want male models
-Insert some other ridiculous, dumb, stupid excuse here
Now, lets be honest. This isn’t even remotely true. Personally I can say, most of my friends (who happen to be hot, no really- legitimately, they are dancers, models, entertainment industry folk) have boyfriends or husbands, and none of them are male models, have lots of money or are famous.
Since the whole women-only-want-money legend is a common topic amongst my male friends and acquaintances, I’ve questioned the theory a lot. I have them point out to me which girls exactly had given them the ‘fuck-you-unless-you’re-rich-or-famous-or-can-make-me-famous’ speech they’ve never actually found one. What they do point out are girls that frankly, in my opinion, are most likely out of their league. Those girls they’re staring at longingly, attempting to pick up (or mentally berating for being shallow) are all 10’s. Yup. This is LA. That girl who looks soooo much like that Americal Apparell model on the Sunset boulevard billboard- is. For real, that’s her job. They are hottie hot sexy chicks. Now, lets continue to play the game of truth here. If she’s a 10, and if you yourself are not a 10, or lack 10 type attributes (money, fame, power) why the hell do you think she would talk to you? That’s a lose for her. Give me a logical argument for this to make sense for anyone but you and your mom.
If you’re a guy and after reading that feel depressed, I’m not done yet. Here comes the great part and Ben Affleck comes back full circle. (You will love hate it.) Dudes who can’t get laid- you have to offer something. Unfortunately you have attributed ‘something’ to only mean monetary goods or status. That is short sighted. Broaden your spectrum. What do you have to offer? Can you cook? That’s your angle! Bitches love food (at least the ones you want to hang out with do). Play an instrument? In a band? Bitches love musicians, even super weird scary or feminine looking dudes, not to mention, most musicians don’t make money, so there goes that excuse. Do you have a great sense of humor or super witty? Make that bitch laugh until she chokes on her libation. Speaking of libations, can you mix a cocktail? Actually - forget it, find something else, bartenders will always have you beat, they get more pussy than Ben Affleck. (That still isn’t the Ben reference this topic was based on- hang tight it’s coming)
Basically guys, you must have confidence in something and it must be bigger than your insecurities. No more excuses. I don’t care if you’re shy, you can still be shy and confident. Girls call it aloof, or mysterious, but for god sakes believe you’re the shit. Why the hell would we believe it if you don’t? Seriously, think about it. How is she supposed to believe she’s lucky to be around you, if you can’t even summon up enough swagger to believe you’re worth a shit? Stop blaming beautiful (and I know you don’t want to hear it- but SUCCESSFUL) women for your inability to close the deal of…well…YOU. Women will trade money for romance, fame for humor or reliability. But no self respecting (and hot) woman is going to trade an asset like confidence for…anything.
Ok, if I’ve remotely won you over, now you’re wondering how to approach using said asset and how to apply my theory. It’s the easiest hard thing you will ever have to do. Women (and men) can sense insecurity. Fake it and you come off as insincere or cocky. The easy/hard part is finding your confidence and believing it. Start by finding something you believe to be true. It can be really small. It could be that you’re reliable, or good at your job. Maybe you take really good care of your dog or you never need spellcheck. Whatever it is, it has to be a genuine, undeniable, unshakeable truth about yourself. This is where real confidence starts. Relish in that belief and think about it every time you have a doubt or a moment of insecurity. Once this becomes pretty habitual move onto something bigger, something that pertains to women. Are you good at planning dates? Do you give great back massages? Do you think you would treat a woman better than anyone else? Find a belief that resonates as absolute truth about you and focus on that. As you go through your day, instead of looking at all the women you wish you could be pouring hot oil on if they weren’t all gold diggers, think of all the genuine things you BELIEVE about yourself and great things that you TRULY have to offer a lady, because of how fucking awesome you are.
Now back to Affleck. If this still isn’t making much sense, or you have new excuses you’d like to offer, I leave you with this; after thousands maybe even millions of mean, spiteful, angry, hateful, twitter, facebook and other forms of forums for public ranting toward the new Batman casting…
Ben Affleck STILL has more confidence than you.(<— yup)
Now that’s motivation.